The things I have been up to

Hey everyone I pray you guys are good. Well I know I’m not on here that much and I’m not much of a blogger sometimes and I apologize for that so much has been going on well  I have Erin’s Poetry on Facebook and I have another page called Essence E Poetry where I will be going by Essence E my pin name that page is different I put out my poetry and other people can put out their art as well so i have been busy i did a radio show where i spoke some of my poems so its been busy but a blessing how God is opening up doors for me with my poetry I will be on another radio show at the end of next month which is such a blessing. I have been going through some emotions lately that I haven’t expected. I have feelings for someone and I don’t know how to handle them because the situation is not ideal he has feelings for someone else and he’s like my best friend it’s so complicated and its taking its toll on me emotionally.  I never really have cared for someone this deeply before and it scares me. I do ask for prayers on this because i feel like my feelings are over the place and I pray to God to remove them but each day they feel stronger . I ask God to show me why is this happening to me. I’m always feeling I’m someone’s second choice I’m never someone’s first I know it sounds like a pity party but I hope whoever reads this can relate to me it’s hard when your feelings over take  you sometimes and I’m a very sensitive person I hope whoever is going through something like this just know you are not alone there will be days when it feels like rain and there is no sunshine but the beautiful thing is Christ the greatest love that ever was told is the one person who will never leave you alone.  I wrote this poem about my feelings I didn’t have the courage to put it on Facebook how I felt in some ways I guess but I hope whoever this is for know that you are not alone we all have been down this road and its okay to cry and to vent some people may think you are overly sensitive but they can’t tell you about your emotions. 

This poem is called Emotional MeSometimes my feelings get in the way of what God wants me to do I need to take a step back and let God lead me throughIt’s so easy to act in my flesh with feelings aching In my heart I have to stay strong in Him and not fall apartThe feelings I have for you run deeper than the flesh I feel our souls are intertwined with each other and if that connection snapped my heart would be brokenSeeking God I ask Him why I have these feelings for you God is not the author of confusion He’s the author of resolutionWe are like twins your soul fits my soul my words fit your words my heart fits your heart and on every beat we are one accordEverything happens for a reason and some things are just for a season but I pray and hope this is for a lifetime but that depends on the author of timeWhen I look at you I don’t just see your face I see your soul I see the beautiful person God is trying to moldI don’t know many people who are so deep and real I just want to have you in my life and have time stand stillSometimes as much as we feel in our heart it hurts because it feels like it’s tearing apart my vision is not God’s vision that’s why I need to pray and let God have His wayI wish I didn’t have feelings for you I want to go inside myself and take them out because I have doubts you feel the same for me too I’m asking God to take these feelings away my flesh and my spirit are conflicted with this complication I keep praying to God for a revelationAt the end of the day God will reveal and show me the way and even if it’s not His vision I will always care and I will move on and keep you in prayer                                                  Essence E      

 

 

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Pieces of my bleeding heart

Pieces of my heart are broken because of the words between us that were spoken you made me believe in all your sweet words I should have never let you in the doors

Why profess all these echoes of love why did you make me think you had confirmation from above If you wasn’t sure why would you make me endure this heartbreak why would you take a piece of my heart and allow it to ache

I was completely keeping it real with you. You knew my feelings and what happen to me in the past it was hard for me to deal and yet you still took my heart and turned the wheel

Instead of seeing the signs I was blinded in my eyes because I wanted to see what I wanted to see I wasn’t trying to hear God when he wanted me to flee

In my mind I thought you were the one in my heart you were the man I’ve been praying for but that dream came to a end and reality set in you never believed I was the one I was just feeling a void until you found your upgrade because you didn’t want to stand alone

You broke my heart and didn’t care using me for your own selfish gain instead of being true to yourself and saving me from pain I am left with all these chains

My heart’s in bondage because of the chains surrounding it blocking each person who wants to come in because I don’t want to be hurt again

I ask myself will I ever get through this pain? will these knives stop cutting up my heart? will these chains ever be broken? will I ever stop falling apart?

I’ve made mistakes in this situation now I turn to God for a revelation I will discern and stay hidden in His secret place Until theirs confirmation in any situation I will hide in His loving embrace

I pray to God that He will remove this pain and I will seek Him more on the matters of the heart so I won’t have a bleeding heart

God’s Precious Jewels

I wrote this poem about abortion not to bring up sins of the past if you did that or if you have gotten raped and as a result you had a baby because there is a line in this poem that I don’t want people to think I’m so coming after them for their past . I knew a womThey are jewels of love it\’s not our place to remove precious stones and break them like bonesan who had a abortion before she came to Christ and she said it was one of the biggest mistakes in her life. This is about what’s going on in the world today and the decisions being made and how we as the Body of Christ need to have a voice and speak up because we never know through Christ our words can change someone’s life

My poor little children why do they take pleasure of killing you in the womb? I try to be calm because I know God has you in His palms

Stop looking at children as mistakes it’s not their fault you have a habit you couldn’t break they are God’s little miracles to embrace

Heartbreaking to hear the cracking of a childs skull the pain they endure because they don’t have a voice paying the price because of someone’s choice

To pass a bill to kill close to full term
You think God will turn a blind eye
He sees all this and will not just standby

Children are precious gifts from the God above They are jewels of love it’s not our place to remove precious stones and break them like bones

Killing precious children for your own selfish gain telling everyone it’s their body their choice instead of listening to God’s voice

Making them think it’s okay to murder a precious stone that’s in their way trying to mask the truth with these lies from the enemy
Instead of keeping it real you want to sign the deal

We as the body of Christ will stand and fight we will not be silent in the midst of evil we will bring a high level of light despite the darkness in our sight

Let us pray for our nation who think they are above God and their station
Let us pray for more salvation and restoration
Let us pray for more foundations and less temptations
Let us pray that God will forgive all the abominations and see changed hearts that won’t ever depart

New Beginnings

It’s a new year a new season for beginnings sometimes friendships and relationships come to different endings God will take you on a different path so you can grow just keep moving and let your blessings flow

Don’t look back at the people who tried to hurt you just pray for them and stay loyal and humble no matter how much they try to make you stumble

Seasons change nothing stays the same there’s a time to keep and a time to cast away don’t be in relationships just for show because with lies and deceit they can never grow

If we trample on someone’s heart without thought or deed the seeds we plant will never grow no matter how much we try to succeed

Your relationship only lasted for a season God only knows the reason there was a lesson that needed to be learned from the author of time and through the pain I know it will not be in vain

It may take sometime for your heart to heal it hurts to know their feelings weren’t real God revealed to you who is true let Him make you brand new

Pray for them and love them from afar do not let them back in until God has healed your scars

You wish time could stop so that you can go back to figure out how did all this go wrong but with a aching heart you try to remain strong

God gave you new eyes to see It’s hard to let them go and let them be but you also don’t want lose yourself in all their cruel deeds

A true relationship will last more than just a season it will go beyond space and time just open your eyes to see who’s real and who will be there when time stands still

Truth Seekers

Sometimes when we want to seek more of God we look to others for a word or encouragement but we have to remember not to become susceptible to every doctrine we hear. We need to seek His face ourselves study His word and pray. Some doctrines are not in line with His word and they to add or take from what God really meant. Let God lead you seek truth for yourself His sheep hear His voice just open your heart and listen

Blindness to the truth is a very deadly thing you have to ask God to open your eyes so you can truly see

You can’t believe every doctrine you hear you have use discernment to know what’s real

People will trust and turn His word inside out to make it convenient for them because they can’t stand truth and accept His will

They try to mix God and the world together when He said in His word you can’t serve two masters

Thinking their doctrine is real and true trying to say God has a different point of view instead of seeking God for themselves they are being led blind looking to them for their salvation instead of looking to Him who gives confirmation

Don’t let others dictate to you their truth but pray and seek His face don’t be led into a deceptive place

Looking to people putting them up on a pedestal making them a god instead of seeking the one who is true and letting Him work through you.

The doctrines of lies being spread people believing the deception being misled not trusting in the one who’s blood was shed

Test the spirits to know if they’re from God Don’t look to others as your shining light pick up His word so your flame can be bright

The Last Drink She Took

Hi God bless everyone I hope all is well. I’m writing this to shed life on this subject of Alcoholism. Some people think why doesn’t she stop drinking but others fail to realize that this a disease and it’s hard and you can’t get over it overnight. This was inspired because there was customer at my job she looked about 45 years old. She used to come to the store drunk go in the bathroom and steal little bottles of wine and drink the product the last day I saw her she looked sober had on makeup looked like she was getting it together. But one day they found a car in the parking with a body in it we were all wondering who it was unfortunately it was her. I wish I could have said something or done something I don’t know what happened exactly but this is my interpretation of what I thought she may have felt she had a husband he used go out and try to find her whenever she got drunk and he had to come to our store and pick her up all the time. For all those who are suffering from this you are not alone God is with you. I don’t know what happened at the last moments but I hope she called out to Christ and that she is with Him right now.

When she looked into the mirror she didn’t like who she saw a woman who is broken deep inside she tries to hide behind a mask so no one can see the pain that resides

She drowns her sorrows in a bottle every night she wants to numb all her fears and pain she feels its more than she can bear or contain

In front of people she’s happy and whole but behind closed doors she feels miserable and alone

Every time she took a drink she wanted to find some solace in her life deep down she knew it couldn’t be found there’s a space in her heart that needs to be filled she feels like a disgrace in her soul there is no peace

For her drinking was a place to escape all the harsh realities and the mistakes she wants to be in a different world no matter what it takes

She goes into the store always looking for a bottle of wine instead of going to the true vine so her and him can intertwine

Her husband searches for her because she disappears he doesn’t know if she went far or near he wants to save her life but doesn’t realize to do that she needs to accept the one who gave His life

As he looks for her he can’t understand why alcoholism has its hooks in her why can’t she be happy with the life she has he wants to figure out why she’s so sad

There’s a void in heart that needs to be filled it doesn’t come from her husband, money, or power she just wants someone to listen to her at least for an hour

He finally found her but she was so pale and weak she could barely speak let alone think he tries to revive her as best he could but it was too late she died from her wounds

Trying to figure out how could this happen to her he didn’t realize she was not only fighting a physical battle but a spiritual one as well her inner demons she had she felt she couldn’t fight or stay right so she took a drink to numb the pain hoping it would go away

After a while he became a believer he stopped blaming himself for what happened and came to the conclusion that no matter how much money or fame you have you can never be whole without Jesus Christ and His words if you don’t have them you will always feel alone with everything taking its toll

Almost Time

Hi everyone I haven’t been on here for a while busy with other things I pray everyone is well. He’s Coming Soon the Son of Man as we see what our world is turning into it’s almost time. That’s why we need to share the truth to anyone who wants to hear it.  We need to show others the love of Christ and show them there is a better world than this and let them know no matter what He will never them or forsake them and there is forgiveness no matter what you have done.

As I see the world and the things that are coming to pass we must be prepared because the time is near for the Son of Man to reappear.

He’s coming soon we do not know which day but there are signs He’s about to take His church away

Hearing the cries of blood in the streets seeing people mistreat each other and not even skip a heartbeat

The fires, floods, and earthquakes that are upon us are the beginning of sorrows we just have to keep praying for a better tomorrow

People being deceived by others who come in His name that have no shame instead of trusting in Him who’s coming and following His word so they lack nothing

Love will grow less and less sin will keep growing more and more we must pray that God will keep shining His light and keep pouring His Spirit to willing hearts that will shine bright

People will hate you for your faith they will laugh and spit in your face you must pray to the Lord to keep your peace and to show others grace

They don’t see what’s really happening the spirit of confusion has them confined they don’t want to see truth and open up their eyes

He’s coming on a cloud soon it could be today at noon we must share the good news to all who will hear so they won’t be left behind shedding tears

The war is already won let us keep fighting and praying and proclaiming His name from coast to coast let the Holy Spirit guide us to help those who are lost and to not leave them behind no matter what the cost

 

Broken scars Healed wounds

Hi everyone I wrote this and I don’t know anything about this subject but I felt compelled to write about this Abuse. There are women out here who are living in secret. They smile and pretend that everything is okay but it’s not but in behind closed doors they are treated brutally by someone they thought loved them. So they cover up their faces with makeup so the neighbors won’t see. Or they tell people they fell that’s why they have all those bruises. They think they did something wrong or they feel so unworthy that they don’t deserve real love. To all the women who go through you are not alone God is with you to take you by the hands and to break the chains. So I pray to anyone who knows anyone going through this to reach out and comfort them and let them know they are loved. This poem is like a letter or when you confront your abuser and talk to them about how they made you felt.

I felt I was at war with you everyday you tore my heart apart with the words that you said I didn’t know how long I could go on this way but I know I couldn’t stay

You treated me like I was nothing you made me feel unloved and not wanted you never really cared for me I was just another woman to fall into your snare using sweet words so I would be unaware

I loved you with everything I had but your love turned into bruises your sweet words turned into poison I felt like I was drowning gasping for air but each time I looked up no one was there

As I looked in the mirror I didn’t see the woman I once was I saw a broken, lost, depressed woman who doesn’t know where to go or where to turn all I could do was pray and hope I could get away

I looked at myself with a busted lip a bruised eye a broken arm my body was in so much pain but not as much pain as my Spirit as it felt it was being weighed down with chains

Giving you everything and all you gave me was your anger and hate making me feel less of myself that I created my own inner hell

The day I finally got away from you I kept thinking was he right about me? am I so unworthy that I can’t make it without him on this journey?

So during my journey I prayed I asked God to cure me of this doubt and to not go back to you He let me know I am loved and wanted and that love is not at the end of a fist it’s kind it won’t play with your mind it will bring out your beauty deep inside

I still have the scars that you put on the outside of me but on the inside the chains have been broken I am no longer your captive He has given me new life I am free from all your anger and strife

I do pray that one day you will give your anger to Christ so He can take it away. I forgive you for all the harm you caused me. I found Him through all this pain I pray one day you can find your way

 

Spirit Versus Flesh

Hello everyone God Bless You!!! I wrote this because I have been struggling within my own flesh. Sometimes temptations cross your path just because something that looks good for you doesn’t mean it is. There was a incident that happened to me and I Praise Jesus nothing more came of it. Sometimes we desire something so much that we want to go out there ourselves and pick it but it doesn’t work that way. What God wants for us is so much better than what we want for ourselves so we have to be patient and not give into our desires but His. Its hard not to give into your flesh that’s why we  need to stay in God’s word and constant prayer. We are not alone God will fight our battles whatever the devil tries to throw at us we need to have on our Armor. There will be temptations on our paths we need to ask Him to give us His strength so we won’t go down those roads and follow the roads He wants us to go. Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God that ye may be to withstand in the evil day and having done all to stand.

People think just because I haven’t been through a lot I don’t know about struggle but it comes in many forms I have to stay in His word and pray to be firm

Wrestling with my flesh trying to kill it everyday with His word but sometimes I am weak and the physical tries to get stronger than the Spiritual to where I can’t think

Voices in my head trying to tell me it’s okay God will forgive you anyway that maybe true but I give up a part of myself God wants me to keep He doesn’t want me to fall or take that leap

Praying to God to be more of Him and less of myself Looking to Him to keep me out of the snares of my flesh So I won’t fall into despair with more than I can bear

It’s a struggle sometimes doing what’s right in His sight I need to keep praying and trying and not give up the fight

I am weak but He is strong with Him in me I can’t go wrong I cannot give into my own desires because that’s not what He inspires

Praying not to give into temptation each day to stay strong and hold on to not lose myself and be gone

I do not want to be led by my flesh but by His Spirit that guides my steps so that I can be kept

I want to be filled with His Spirit each day not looking to the world for validation because in Him I have true stabilization

My struggles will make me stronger I pray God lifts me so I won’t fall and if I’m down I get up and stand tall and that His Spirit is with me above all